Facts About Married People and Masturbation

Facts About Married People and Masturbation Relationships Print Masturbation and Married People Statistics and Viewpoints on Masturbation in Marriage By Sheri Stritof Sheri Stritof has written about marriage and relationships for 20 years. Shes the co-author of The Everything Great Marriage Book. Learn about our editorial policy Sheri Stritof Reviewed by Reviewed by Amy Morin, LCSW on October 23, 2019 facebook twitter instagram Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist, author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Dont Do, and a highly sought-after speaker. Learn about our Wellness Board Amy Morin, LCSW on October 23, 2019 Brand New Images / Iconica / Getty Images More in Relationships Spouses & Partners LGBTQ Violence and Abuse Masturbation is very common among adults, yet is a challenging topic for many people to talk about. Masturbation is common even for those who are married.?? However, even in the closest of romantic relationships, there may be struggles regarding  this subject.   There are many myths about harms of masturbation, but according to the medical community, masturbation does not contribute to any known physical, mental, or medical problems. Experts advise that masturbation after marriage is okay as long as it does not interfere with your sexual intimacy with your partner.????? Masturbation and Married People It is not unusual for men and women to masturbate in addition to regular sex with their partners.?? The most frequent qualm wives have about masturbation is knowing that their husband still masturbates despite regular sexual relationships together. Husbands usually have the opposite viewpoint. They would likely get very turned on by knowing that their wives masturbate or by watching, but the majority of wives feel uncomfortable about that. Survey on Masturbation in Marriage The website TheMarriageBed took an informal survey in 2013, asking how often respondents had engaged in self-stimulation to orgasm while not with ones spouse. About 85 percent of male respondents said they had masturbated based on this definition within the previous three months. Only about 15 percent thought that their wives knew about it, while 17 percent were pretty sure that their wives were clueless. Myths About Masturbation Most people are embarrassed about masturbation due to all of the negative and mixed messages received about doing this behavior.?? There are some common myths about masturbation and its effects, but it is beneficial for people to know the facts about these myths:   Masturbation does not cause hairy palms.Masturbation does not make your eyesight go bad or cause you to go blind.Masturbation does not cause acne.Masturbation will not cause your penis to shrink.Masturbation will not make you go insane.Masturbation does not cause cancer.Masturbation will not make you sterile.Masturbation will not turn you into a pervert.Masturbation will not give you an STD.Masturbation is not self-abuse.Masturbation is not a steppingstone to the homosexual lifestyle.Masturbation is not unnatural.Masturbation will not hinder your social and emotional developmentMasturbation is not the same as infidelity.?? Benefits of Masturbation for Married People Prevention Magazine  reports that masturbation eases  stress  and promotes self-satisfaction, and both of these effects can contribute to a  happier and more satisfying marriage. The magazine wholly supports the practice, indicating that it doesnt negatively affect libido but rather stimulates it. It can also lead to self-discovery by  helping you learn what you like and dont like sexually and how you need to be stimulated. Understanding your sexual preferences is something that can spill over into mutual sexual encounters.  This is especially true for women. Psychology Today nonetheless cites research that indicates that masturbation while in a relationship is  healthy  and can serve as prompt to more mutual sexual activity. So what about couples who arent on the same page when it comes to wanting the same frequency of sex?  Prevention Magazine  says that masturbation may be the perfect answer to that sort of dilemma because the masturbating spouse isnt cheating with another person, which helps to take the sense of betrayal out of unequal sexual desire.   Most people feel better after gratifying sex, whether its solo or mutual. If masturbating functions to remove sexual issues and problems from a marriage, that can be a good thing.   The Negative Outcomes of Masturbation for Married People Psychology Today  looked into the question of whether masturbation is harmful to a marital union and found that masturbation fills a void when one spouse or the other is unwilling or unable to engage in a mutual sexual activity. Inadequate Feelings The spouses who dont engage in masturbation report displeasure when they discover what their partner has been up to. They tend to blame themselves, assuming that their spouse or partner is bored or unhappy with them. Substitute For Intimacy Masturbation is a problem if it interferes with day to day life or if it is used as a substitute for real intimacy with another person.   Trust A married partner may feel that his or her partner has been keeping secrets if masturbation happens.  WebMD quotes  David Schnarch, Ph.D., director of The Marriage and Family Health Center in Evergreen, Colorado, as explaining. For some couples, its a breach. For others, its not. What Married Couples Should Know Given the conflicting opinions and research about masturbation and marriage, it may be that it all comes down to a personal viewpoint. People who masturbate may do so in different amounts. There is no right or wrong number. You may have a problem with masturbating too much if you cant achieve orgasm with your partner through intercourse or if you have a sex addiction. If you believe you may have a problem with masturbation, you can seek out the help of a?  sex therapist. The therapist can work with you alone or with you and your partner to iron out any concerns you might be struggling with. The fact is that many people still masturbate when they are in long-term relationships such as  marriage. It is up to you whether or not you tell your spouse or partner that you masturbate, but you should not consider it a sign of your own inadequacy if you discover that your spouse masturbates. As long as you can maintain a healthy and  satisfying emotional and physical romantic relationship, you do not have to be concerned about masturbating.??